The research on the borderline theme, developed under the motto ‘mOrto and risOrto from the garden of abOrto’ for the series Out of the Blue_BLOOMING, is resulting in a succession of works not so widely expected but certainly welcome. The eye of conscience is alert to all signs, and the anagogic writing in The Golden Book volumes continues full steam ahead, bringing teaching and light to the subtler, darker side.
Shadow side: in the shadow of the Light. It is the side that deforms and incarnates itself in order to be unveiled, unveiled, redeemed. It is the wild nature of being… instinct… passion… intestinal lucubrations… repressed vitality enslaved by compulsive, unfocused need. We are made up of primary needs that seek satisfaction. The balance of these, and never abuse, satiates.
In consumption, there is death, squandering anxiety lack. Filling oneself bulemically by consuming the reasons makes us empty to lose The dark side is that which calls for the consumption of everything, everyone indiscriminately because if there were the Observer, the Presence, the Light, the Conscience, there would be no motive and will to consume but only sensible use, sharing, respect, sense of satiety The shady side must be lived for what it is a visceral side to be indulged in the right measure (food sleep sex) convincing ourselves that the idea we have of happiness is only sensory satisfaction and not bliss, overflowing joy There is no food that will satiate forever There is no woman/man that will suffice/complete forever Our nature is S. confiNed but confined to the maintenance of the body without making it divine. The hunger for love is not quenched with food. One must close the refrigerator from the chill of one’s relationships/reactions. This must be imagined and carried within oneself to melt like snow in the Sun. It is controlling one’s temperament. Not surrendering the power, the TeLeCommand to third parties to unleash the “the monster”, the dark side, the survival instinct Learning to distinguish when we are in danger and when we feel under threat, for no apparent reason.
At this point in the research dedicated to ‘the non-aborted’, I wonder if the border: those who live between Earth and Heaven, in SOSpeso, not aborted by grace received, but not even galvanised to come into the world, because in the womb – the habitat of life’s development – they have brooded within themselves for X amount of time, the fear of death by termination of pregnancy has not assumed the fallacious combination that ‘living makes one die’. I believe this, especially considering the amniotic fluid, ‘amnios’, as a powerful conductor of the emotional current communication-communion-mother-fetus …Amnios, rich in silicon, are carriers of the sensory function. It is like an antenna that conveys all the formative processes that go from the periphery to the centre.
Every human being knows, that living leads one step at a time to death sooner or later. Death experienced as the end of a journey, the concluding act par excellence; not death as the sinking presence of all beautiful, good and just living. A time to die and a time to live. The border in my opinion does not have this cleavage well present, it lacks an and:
Space to Live and Time to Die
No longer a whole, but two distinct and congruent parts, held together by a conjunction capable of affirming that yearning, that breadth of breath called Life.The e that I imagine in my work to be esseressential represents the substantial Space-Time to live in the here-now without imploding-exploding, giving rise to those visceral (bi)dreams that press to be com-pressed, consciously carried along.The e is the earth sound coming from the planet Mars. The E is horizontal in the larynx, i.e. the vocal organs go horizontal to pronounce it.It represents the ability to distance oneself, to observe and perceive clearly. It is the movement from self towards the world, strongly defending internal values.
The border, on the other hand, enacts both times simultaneously, and self-sabotage becomes the rule, generally unconscious and automatic to abort, to fail and wreck the good time to live, because when all goes well, the threat of living is sky-high, since it coincides with the possibility of dying. The initial maternal doubt – ‘I’m pregnant, I can’t/won’t keep it’ (said in synthesis) this uncertainty protracted over – three months are 1/3 of the pregnancy – feeds the paradox ‘to live makes one die’ and generates an existential emptiness, absence and lack that consumes and drowns one’s existence in restlessness, alarmism, apparently senseless and out-of-the-blue behaviour.
The borderline, on the other hand, enacts both times simultaneously, and self-sabotage becomes the rule, generally unconscious and automatic to abort, fail and wreck the good time to live because when all goes well, the threat of living is sky-high since it coincides with the possibility of dying. The initial maternal doubt is: “I’m pregnant, and I can’t/won’t keep it (said in synthesis)”. This uncertainty protracted in time – three months are 1/3 of the pregnancy – feeds the paradox ‘to live makes one die’ and generates an emptiness, an absence and an existential lack that consumes and drowns the existence of restlessness, alarmism, apparently senseless and out-of-the-blue behaviour.
Perhaps it is helpful to know that this challenge (misfortune) of birth is a precise evolutionary filter in the game (yoke) of existence, a ‘maya-illusion-obsession’, which enacts the process/progress of the soul by dint of stressors: stressful agents that induce change.
But what is this fear of dying that does not allow one to live?
… the fear of dying is a performance anxiety
because while your death is taking place, you do and are
the fear is of those who stand by
ignorant and powerless
dying is a passage like living
(coming into the world, conception)
the life you are in is not limited to these two moments
the fear of living
is the anxiety of not being able to embody so much life, so much heaven, so much love
is a die-hard expressive block
but an integral part of an evolutionary programme
To incarnate is to bring into the here and now
just a little piece of that infinity, and that makes one feel dead
closed constricted suffocated reduced to the minimum: m-o-r-t-i / dead.
Why does the border shrink even more?
Because he hopes to die to live again… amplified
Is it possible to erase the information ‘living causes death’ from cellular memory?
Cells are alive and receptive
to what you think, feel and do
Accessing cells requires the reverse process (dying makes a living)
do “as if”
feel “as if”
think ‘as if’
register this new modus vivendi
and they (the cells) will already be at your service
…every cell in the body has its memory content
which can be accessed to learn the lesson and allow it to be released
How can I create a work that arouses the will to re-emerge from the salt waters of childbirth?
First of all, one must die
ideally
extinguish the breath, the will, the thought, the voice
remain without breathing until the spasm occurs, and then you explode/emerge from the waters and return home…
… in this suspension of air, you were conceived*
here, there is neither thought nor will
when you can no longer resist
and only living becomes essential
you emerge upwards and rise from the waters of childbirth
new, washed, medicated…
here you are eternal; now you are living presence…
Doing this in the body will free you from all constraints
The fear of dying will no longer be confused
with the fear of living confined
(The Golden Book VII – Meditative Writing)
The general phenomena of orgasm are marked by apnoea, the revulsion of the eyeballs, and a state of ecstasy that can go as far as a fleeting obnubilation of consciousness. (Italian Medical Encyclopaedia, Vol. 4)
